John Maddison Morton

Woodcock's Little Game

A Comedy-Farce in Two Acts. Thomas Hailes, 1864.

Act 2 [A house in Regent's Park]
Swansdown: We must fight, sir. I know all! All!
Larkings: The devil! Well, sir, tomorrow morning!
Swansdown: No! Now! Now! It's a moonlight night! Primrose Hill close at hand, and I've pistols in my pocket!

A love letter from Larkings to Swansdown's wife has been discovered and the injured husband is demanding satisfaction, but as this is a 'comedy-farce' the duel takes place off-stage and nothing serious ensues.

David [servant]: Oh please ma'am a policeman has just rung at our bell - seeing we hadn't gone to bed, he called to say that as he was going over Primrose Hill, about a quarter of an hour ago, he picked up this card case, ma'am!...
Mrs. Larkings: But why bring it to our home?
David: Because it's Mr. Larkings's card case, ma'am!
Mrs Larkings (to Larkings): So you've been to Primrose Hill, it seems?
Larkings: Yes - the fact is - the rooms were so hot - and - never having seen the sun set - I mean the moon rise...
Mrs Larkings: Where did the man say he picked the card case up?
David: Where the shooting took place ma'am...He heard two shots, ma'am - bang, bang; and ran to the spot just in time to see three gentlemen walking off; and -
Mrs Larkings: You can go, David...

The theatre critic of The Times thought that 'the duel in the midst of a modern ball, so very improbable and so very French, suddenly interrupts the course of genuine comedy, and counteracts all the clever adapter's efforts to give an English aspect to a foreign story', but felt nevertheless that the play was 'unequivocally successful'.