Bill Dare

Natural Selection

Piatkus, 2003.

The morning has matured into a windy afternoon and I wonder how blowy it'll be on top of Primrose Hill... I have no idea from which direction Victoria will come so I stroll round in circles keeping an eye out. A Scottie dog yaps at my heels and a pretty young girl beckons "Blacky" back to her with the obligatory "He won't hurt you." No, but he does irritate me...I keep thinking I see her in the distance but it's not her. When I do make her out at the Zoo side of the hill she is unmistakable...I start running with my arms wide open...I begin to slow down for the great hug when Blacky (I'll always remember you, Blacky) appears from nowhere barking like mad. "Fuck right off!" I shout, without looking down. He makes a beeline for my right foot...The next thing I know I tread on his paw, there's another gust of wind, and Victoria and I come together. Then we go down together

It's four years since the lovers parted; a mutual friend has put them in touch again and James has been trying to convince himself that the separation was a good thing really, 'it will be nice to see Victoria as a friend...catch up with her news.' But it's not going quite as he planned.

Victoria is practically sitting on top of me, laughing. We laugh and kiss each other and try to hug... Victoria buries her head in my neck and our jerking bodies are entwined...Victoria is not laughing now but crying. She's holding her left hand and tears are streaming down her face. And I think to myself what a galumphing great nincompoop of a man I am.

We are in a taxi heading for the Royal Free Hospital. "It was that bloody stupid dog. Blacky his name is. I met him earlier. I knew he was up to no good"